Julia Allison Has No Idea What Work Is
My day, broken down:
Woke up around 10 am - answered emails, got ready for Mirror Awards luncheon at 11:45 am, cabbed it to the Harmonie Club at 60th & 5th (I would have walked, but I had on heels and I didn’t want to be late). After the luncheon (which I left at 2:30) , I subway’d to 29th & Park for an hour plus long meeting with TMIweekly’s producer, Kathleen. Then an elevator ride for a half hour hang out with David at Tumblr (Tumblr’s offices are below NNN’s). After that, I cab’d it to ICM’s offices on 50th & 8th to meet with my lit agent, Kate Lee, for an hour (coincidentially, she’s also Rachel Sklar’s lit agent! And Paula Froelich’s! And Jeff Jarvis’! I’m in pretty fantastic company.)
After the meeting, I walked back to my place, a few blocks away, to meet Megan, who had driven in from Long Island for the Alvin Ailey performance. Since they were dancing in Brooklyn, we drove (thank god for iPhone’s GPS, although BAM - the Brooklyn Academy of Music - isn’t exactly hard to find, I can get lost in my own bathroom, so. You know. GPS helps.) in time for the 7:30 performance, which ended around 10 pm. Then we drove back into the city to pick up CD in Union Square at 10:30, and took her to Morandi, on Waverly & 7th, in the West Village. We sat down for dinner around 11 (first food I’d had since lunch - I was starving!) and Megan finally dropped me back at my place around 1:15 am …
Now I’m home, Miss Lilly dog needs to be walked, I’m exhausted and SO looking forward to bed.
Goodnight!!!
xoxo
Julia
Julia Allison’s Day Broken Down For Her
- Woke up late (Christ woman, most people are well into work. Even too-far-gone-to-help alcoholics wake up earlier than you, and you DON’T DRINK!)
- Deleted your hate mail because it makes you cry.
- Rummaged through your pile of tutus to find the one that says “I’m a professional and I have a small ass, REALLY!”
- Took a taxi! Looked for yourself on the taxi TV!
- Have yet to actually work.
- Went to lunch, even though you had yet done any work today. The lunch was a awards ceremony for journalists, which you were glad to attend even though you aren’t a journalist.
- Took the subway! It’s underground!
- Met with producer, flipped to back issues of 1980’s Cosmopolitan’s to find ideas for your “TV show.”
- Bothered the people at tumblr, who all hate you. Promised you’d give David Karp the reach around… eventually.
- Another taxi! Still looking for yourself on the taxi TV.
- Meeting with lit agent! Who reps people you will never be! You promise your agent to finally write something that is over 100 words. Then you break that promise and contemplate a book of narcissistic haiku.
- Walked home! Have yet to have done anything all day that can be remotely called work.
- Met up with the boring one to watch the dancing. Used GPS!
- Watched the dancing. Thought about your tutus. Realized you are too fat to actually be a dancer. And too old to wear fucking tutus.
- Still no actual work.
- Back to Manhattan. Dinner! No food since lunch! Too busy feigning importance to eat!
- Back to the princess palace. Tiptoed quietly past Rosie O’Donnell’s door. (You pissed off the lesbian. You now know wrath.)
- Your dog hasn’t been walked ALL DAY. Your dog hates you. It shit all over your apartment.
- Exhaustion! Still no work.
You are not important. Give it up. Get a job and get over yourself.
no, the boring one is meghan with an h. megan is megan alagna, TMIWeekly’s “producer” or whatever.
